Fear tricks us into living a boring life. -Donald Miller

“Frear tricks us into living a boring life.” --Donald Miller.  This quote comes from the book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life. 

While Mr. Miller goes into a great reflection of life in his book. I will say, that when seeing this quote, I immediately realized how it played a role in my life as well.

What is fear?

Well, the definition of fear according to Merriam-Webster “implies anxiety and usually loss of courage. Fear of the unknown dread usually adds the idea of intense reluctance to face or meet a person or situation and suggests aversion as well as anxiety.”  

And, according to Psychology Today, it is described as “a vital response to physical and emotional danger; it has strong roots in human evolution. If people didn’t feel fear, they couldn’t protect themselves from legitimate threats, which in the ancestral world frequently resulted in life-or-death consequences. In the modern world, individuals often fear situations where the stakes are much lower, but their body and brain still treat the threat as lethal. This can trigger an extreme, and often unnecessary, fight-flight-or-freeze response. As a result, people may find themselves avoiding challenges that could benefit them in the long run or hanging back during social interactions for no good reason. When people today do face deadly or extreme danger, it can sometimes cause lingering trauma. These traumas can trigger a fear response that is hard to quell, even when the risk has passed.”

Some fear can be justified some can be detrimental to us. We all react to fear in different ways. Some of us freeze, some of us run and some of us face it with courage.

What are you afraid of?

Fear of change, are you afraid of being alone? Do you fear what others think of you?  Think about that for a moment. What fear of yours tricks you into living a boring life?

For years, I lived in a constant state of fear. What was I afraid of? Turns out, a lot of things, but I will share two that had a major impact on my life.

Fear of disappointment.

Now, as I am sitting here writing this, I realize that my greatest fear was the fear of disappointment. I did not fear disappointment in every situation, only in certain situations.  Why I do not know. With some situations, I did not care if I disappointed ANYONE. Really makes no sense to me.

I was heavily influenced by my grandmother growing up.  She was a Baptist church secretary who was very strong in her faith.  So, every Sunday I was setting in the front pew learning everything I could about Jesus.  I participated in everything; went to every class, every after-hour bible study. In doing all this, I had developed some misguided perceptions and created stress and fear for myself.

I married my first husband straight out of high school. Knowing it would be forever, come hell or high water.  We struggled for eighteen years. Why, because I had created a fear of disappointing my Grandmother and of letting God down. I had every reason to leave, but I had convinced myself that if I left and went through a divorce, I would be a disappointment; for better or WORSE, right?

I am a firm believer that we go through things that allow us to grow as individuals.  We are to learn and move forward in this life. I learned that it was not as complicated as I was making it out to be.  God moved, and in doing so, made me move.

God had created circumstances in mine and my exhusbands life that forced me to move in faith. I had to release all fear and take a leap of faith. I believe I went through this experience to learn what was really important and Who to trust.

Fear of dying before I have really lived.

Nearly dying in a motorcycle accident, I had increased anxiety accumulating over the thought of dying before I had even really lived. Honestly, now that I think about it, this is the fear that has had the most recent effect on my life. I had to find a way to address it and start letting it go.

I look at my bike as a way of helping me overcome that fear.

At the time, I was new to bikes and really did not know enough to understand them and the freedom they have come to provide.  I was riding as a passenger everywhere and still had the nervousness that comes with the newness. We went down on a corner, in the mountains, on gravel.  Really didn’t think I would ever be on one after that.

Several years after the wreck,  I realized that I have been repeating the same phrase over and over in my mind; get back on the horse that threw ya. So, that is what I did. Started out slow, as a passenger again and then moved on from there.  

Time to edit.

So, as Donald speaks of editing his life, I began to do the same.  Going through each detail and taking notes. What was holding me back from living the life God designed for me and what was I afraid of?  Better yet, what brought me joy and moved my soul?

The anxiety that builds because of fear can be crippling to both the body physically and your emotional state of mind. Not to mention the weakening of your spirit.  So, realizing what fears have you living a boring life will allow you to address them and begin to let go of them.

Sometimes, everything can be crashing down on you and the weight of the world is on your chest, but know that trusting and letting go of your fears could easily be all it takes to change your world.

All our successes and failures make us who we are and we need to learn from every experience and move on. Believe in yourself and step away from your fears. Fear and Faith cannot exist in the same space.

In doing the inventory of my life and editing out what didn’t fit, I realized the two fears that had the greatest impact on my life were centered around disappointment and death. Now, if I am a disappointment, I am sorry, but I am not going to judge myself or hold myself back because I am afraid of disappointing someone, ANYONE. God knows were are not perfect.  I certainly will not do anything knowingly that will cause undue stress or harm to anyone, but I know that I can trust the journey and experience the life God has given me. Enjoy the life God has given me.

Facing your fears.

I would hope that you would do an inventory of your life and determine what is holding you back from living your best life.  Fear is a sneaky little thing. It could be the one thing holding us back and we just not realize it. The examples of my two fears are just that, examples. Each of us lives different lives and our fears can all be different.

Once you have identified your fear(s), create a plan to let go of them. Create a plan that will lead you to live a life with less stress and anxiety that these fears bring to you.  It is not always an easy task. Sometimes it is just hard, but if you ever just need to talk or need a sounding board to create a plan, you can always reach out to me. I will not make your fears go away, create a plan for you, or baby you, but I will listen and sometimes that is all we need to realize we have the answers yourself.  You are the only one who can make the changes needed to move past your fears.

In researching Donald Miller’s quote, I came across this tank and thought, oh, I just got to have this tank! I don’t make anything off of this shirt or the referral to Aedriel’s website, but wanted to share it with you! I know that it will serve as a good reminder for me to not let fear trick me into living a boring life!

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As stated above regarding the tank and aedriel.com, I receive no compensation for any of the links mentioned above, that includes Amazon, Merriam-Webster, and Psychology Today.